History
Where did this journey begin? Well, Genesis 1:1...just kidding. We're not going to go quite that far back. I have to preface this story by saying that I have a toddler and a baby and my mind is almost completely mush, so please excuse any holes where my memory fails me.
Let's start with a wedding. That's a fun place to start. On July 14, 2012, I married Nicholas Prisco, and thus we became "the Priscos." It had to have been the hottest day of the year, and maybe that was a foreshadowing of the journey we would soon begin to South Africa. Or it was just mid-July on Cape Cod. Either way, it was hot and we got married.
Before I married Nick, I knew he would be a missionary. It's not something he had decided or had started working toward, but there were hints that it would happen someday. It actually made me a little nervous to marry him. I had never even moved houses, never mind countries. I am an introvert and I liked my quiet, comfortable life. Still, I married him. I think I figured we wouldn't actually do something so crazy (which is kind of funny since we were 19 and getting married after knowing each other 16 months, dating 9 months, and being engaged 3 months--we sort of tended toward crazy).
Somewhere between July and December, Nick and I both felt a pull to South Africa. I don't remember what changed in me, or how that change came about (like I said, mom brain), but suddenly I could see us in the mission field. Our pastor (and friend--hey Erik!) had started a missions organization (called Emoyeni) helping orphans in Mpumalanga, South Africa 10 years earlier and needed to go check up on things. Nick and I had shared our ideas about working there some day with him, so he invited us to come along. We both had flexible jobs and no children, so off we went! We spent 3 1/2 weeks from February to March 2013 traveling the incredibly beautiful country of South Africa. We met local people including pastors and children whom Emoyeni was currently helping. We absolutely loved it. I've never felt so free and full of joy in my life. When we returned to the States, we longed to go back to Africa.
Here's the second hole in my memory: at some point the very mention of South Africa made my blood boil. When did that happen? Why did that happen? I actually think it happened by the beginning of 2014. This explanation requires a little backstory. You see, I would have had children right after Nick and I got married. I had always wanted kids. But Nick said it wasn't time (he was right, by the way) so we waited around a year and a half. I have a very large extended family, so everyone expected us to have children right away. I thought I would get pregnant right away. But I didn't. Months passed and I can't tell you how many times I convinced myself I was pregnant. With every negative test, I thrust myself deeper and deeper into depression. At first that made me want to go to South Africa. I wanted babies, and I wasn't having my own, so I would just take in African orphans. I wasn't happy with my life, so I would change it. But then I changed my mind. I didn't want to go to Africa. I wanted a house and a bunch of my own children. I wanted my life to look like what I had always imagined it would look like. So I completely rejected Africa.
Nick loves South Africa. He never forgot the dream. He treasured the memories of our time there. Whenever he would bring it up, I would become so angry. I knew he wanted to go and I hated disappointing him, and I took out my disappointment with myself and our situation on him. This went on for probably about 3 years. In that time Nick and I dreamt about and attempted to achieve many versions of the American Dream. We bought a house. We bought a car. We had 2 baby girls. We tried to figure out how we could make our living conditions and lifestyle satisfy us.
I love the International Standard Version of Proverbs 19:21. It says, "Many plans occupy the mind of a man, but the LORD's purposes will prevail." That's exactly what was happening with the Priscos. Our minds were full of our own plans, but God's purpose never changed or failed. So many things we tried to do fell through. Long story short, we are now renting out the house we bought, we spent 6 months living in Maryland, and we now live in my parents' house. We wanted to buy another house, but decided that wasn't a good idea for various reasons. While we were in South Africa, I felt that the Lord told me three times not to settle. I didn't understand what that meant, but I now believe He may have been referring to our call to Africa. He may have been telling me I wasn't meant to settle down in the States. In November 2017, we decided to be present in our current situation rather than striving for more. When we made that decision, it was like this huge weight that we had been carrying for years was lifted. Nick and I both felt immense peace.
It was at this time that the couple who runs Emoyeni in South Africa came for a visit to the States. As we sat with them one evening, they mentioned something about our family coming to South Africa in the future. Nick said, "give me 5 years," and then looked at me expecting the evil eye. I shocked myself by not feeling angry. I expected to feel angry and annoyed, but I didn't. I actually felt like agreeing--not to the time frame necessarily, but to the fact that we would be going. My own feelings came as a total surprise to me, and yet I felt such peace.
So that's where we're at now. The seed of a dream that was planted 5 years ago is bursting to life and the chaos in our hearts has shifted to peace. There are so many questions to be answered, and it is terrifying and crazy, but God is always faithful!
Let's start with a wedding. That's a fun place to start. On July 14, 2012, I married Nicholas Prisco, and thus we became "the Priscos." It had to have been the hottest day of the year, and maybe that was a foreshadowing of the journey we would soon begin to South Africa. Or it was just mid-July on Cape Cod. Either way, it was hot and we got married.
Before I married Nick, I knew he would be a missionary. It's not something he had decided or had started working toward, but there were hints that it would happen someday. It actually made me a little nervous to marry him. I had never even moved houses, never mind countries. I am an introvert and I liked my quiet, comfortable life. Still, I married him. I think I figured we wouldn't actually do something so crazy (which is kind of funny since we were 19 and getting married after knowing each other 16 months, dating 9 months, and being engaged 3 months--we sort of tended toward crazy).
Somewhere between July and December, Nick and I both felt a pull to South Africa. I don't remember what changed in me, or how that change came about (like I said, mom brain), but suddenly I could see us in the mission field. Our pastor (and friend--hey Erik!) had started a missions organization (called Emoyeni) helping orphans in Mpumalanga, South Africa 10 years earlier and needed to go check up on things. Nick and I had shared our ideas about working there some day with him, so he invited us to come along. We both had flexible jobs and no children, so off we went! We spent 3 1/2 weeks from February to March 2013 traveling the incredibly beautiful country of South Africa. We met local people including pastors and children whom Emoyeni was currently helping. We absolutely loved it. I've never felt so free and full of joy in my life. When we returned to the States, we longed to go back to Africa.
Here's the second hole in my memory: at some point the very mention of South Africa made my blood boil. When did that happen? Why did that happen? I actually think it happened by the beginning of 2014. This explanation requires a little backstory. You see, I would have had children right after Nick and I got married. I had always wanted kids. But Nick said it wasn't time (he was right, by the way) so we waited around a year and a half. I have a very large extended family, so everyone expected us to have children right away. I thought I would get pregnant right away. But I didn't. Months passed and I can't tell you how many times I convinced myself I was pregnant. With every negative test, I thrust myself deeper and deeper into depression. At first that made me want to go to South Africa. I wanted babies, and I wasn't having my own, so I would just take in African orphans. I wasn't happy with my life, so I would change it. But then I changed my mind. I didn't want to go to Africa. I wanted a house and a bunch of my own children. I wanted my life to look like what I had always imagined it would look like. So I completely rejected Africa.
Nick loves South Africa. He never forgot the dream. He treasured the memories of our time there. Whenever he would bring it up, I would become so angry. I knew he wanted to go and I hated disappointing him, and I took out my disappointment with myself and our situation on him. This went on for probably about 3 years. In that time Nick and I dreamt about and attempted to achieve many versions of the American Dream. We bought a house. We bought a car. We had 2 baby girls. We tried to figure out how we could make our living conditions and lifestyle satisfy us.
I love the International Standard Version of Proverbs 19:21. It says, "Many plans occupy the mind of a man, but the LORD's purposes will prevail." That's exactly what was happening with the Priscos. Our minds were full of our own plans, but God's purpose never changed or failed. So many things we tried to do fell through. Long story short, we are now renting out the house we bought, we spent 6 months living in Maryland, and we now live in my parents' house. We wanted to buy another house, but decided that wasn't a good idea for various reasons. While we were in South Africa, I felt that the Lord told me three times not to settle. I didn't understand what that meant, but I now believe He may have been referring to our call to Africa. He may have been telling me I wasn't meant to settle down in the States. In November 2017, we decided to be present in our current situation rather than striving for more. When we made that decision, it was like this huge weight that we had been carrying for years was lifted. Nick and I both felt immense peace.
It was at this time that the couple who runs Emoyeni in South Africa came for a visit to the States. As we sat with them one evening, they mentioned something about our family coming to South Africa in the future. Nick said, "give me 5 years," and then looked at me expecting the evil eye. I shocked myself by not feeling angry. I expected to feel angry and annoyed, but I didn't. I actually felt like agreeing--not to the time frame necessarily, but to the fact that we would be going. My own feelings came as a total surprise to me, and yet I felt such peace.
So that's where we're at now. The seed of a dream that was planted 5 years ago is bursting to life and the chaos in our hearts has shifted to peace. There are so many questions to be answered, and it is terrifying and crazy, but God is always faithful!
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