Riding the Wave
I'm excited to travel, see beautiful SA again, and experience what God has in store for us. If I think about it in detail, I could get really nervous and sad. I really love my life here. In my ideal world, my girls would grow up super close to family (and friends we have here who are like family). I mean, we might come back in two years so I guess they won't necessarily miss that much. I guess because we're not sure what will happen after two years, I'm sort of preparing my head for longer term...maybe.
Honestly, I'm sort of just riding this crazy wave. I have spent a lot of time fighting God, and I'm finally giving in. Right now, life is crazy. I face many days not knowing how I'll make it through. People say to me how impressed they are with how I take care of my kids, but I don't feel especially impressive. What else would I do? I have to keep us alive, so that's step one. Once I have that under control, I move onto whatever else comes up as the next step. So for me, my general job description won't be changing. There will be challenges, but life holds challenges no matter where we live. I've said "yes" to God and I have to trust that He knows what He's doing. For so long I've tried to make things work on my own and I've been pretty much constantly unsettled and stressed. It's so amazing that even though I don't know where He'll lead, there is such peace in following God.
God keeps reminding me that He's got this. Even just now, I opened up Facebook and someone had posted: "don't let the whispers of people distract you from the calling of God." To some, maybe that seems inconsequential, but it means to much to me. I told my best friend yesterday that we're going and she was super supportive, but it was really sad and now I've been thinking about how hard it's going to be telling everyone and dreading the backlash that I'm sure we'll get from some. I don't believe it's a coincidence that a reminder that only one voice matters would cross my path right when I need it.
Sweet Abba, I trust you.
Honestly, I'm sort of just riding this crazy wave. I have spent a lot of time fighting God, and I'm finally giving in. Right now, life is crazy. I face many days not knowing how I'll make it through. People say to me how impressed they are with how I take care of my kids, but I don't feel especially impressive. What else would I do? I have to keep us alive, so that's step one. Once I have that under control, I move onto whatever else comes up as the next step. So for me, my general job description won't be changing. There will be challenges, but life holds challenges no matter where we live. I've said "yes" to God and I have to trust that He knows what He's doing. For so long I've tried to make things work on my own and I've been pretty much constantly unsettled and stressed. It's so amazing that even though I don't know where He'll lead, there is such peace in following God.
God keeps reminding me that He's got this. Even just now, I opened up Facebook and someone had posted: "don't let the whispers of people distract you from the calling of God." To some, maybe that seems inconsequential, but it means to much to me. I told my best friend yesterday that we're going and she was super supportive, but it was really sad and now I've been thinking about how hard it's going to be telling everyone and dreading the backlash that I'm sure we'll get from some. I don't believe it's a coincidence that a reminder that only one voice matters would cross my path right when I need it.
Sweet Abba, I trust you.
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